My mind is all over the place...
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Hello Sparklers and Sparkettes,
It’s been a while since I blogged and I do find it a useful tool to work things out in my head so here goes another... although today I’m struggling. I’ve got the beginnings of a cold I think and have been feeling a bit woozy today. Hopefully it will pass – I want to use my new treadmill tonight, although if I still feel like this I think it would be a mistake as I would probably wobble off it and cause injury to myself and my new treadmill!
The weekend was nice. We went camping in our tent trailer again, this time near the Cascades NP. It was a lovely location and the drive didn’t seem to be as long as we expected. The campsite was lovely (KOA Concrete – no concrete there though, except maybe around the pool where it should be!) and the girls had a lot of fun. They ran a craft class on the Saturday morning to make Pet Rocks. Kerensa named hers Elvis (well, he is the king of rocks!). I think Gwenna named hers Rocky, but she changes her mind quite often and I think its current name is Thomas.
We had a lovely afternoon on the sandy edge of Baker Lake, the water was too cold for us to swim but the girls enjoyed paddling and playing in the sand. We drove home on Sunday, doing a bit of shopping on the way. On Monday we did a long walk from North Vancouver to Ambleside (about 7miles). It was a slow walk, with a few stops but it certainly helped build up my fitness minutes for the first day of August!
So, it’s just over a week and a half since my trip to England. I am still feeling pretty sad – mainly FOR my mum – because she has missed out on knowing her grandchildren and because her memory started failing her in her early 50s. That is just so young... and I’m only 10 years from 50 myself now. I am struggling a bit with my weightloss... my weight and waistline is yo yoing... and my pants are tight yet again. I guess it will take me a while to get back into my groove but I’m feeling a bit downhearted about it. I guess it’s being ill as well as what’s just happened.
I missed my mum the most when I had my children. I talked to her often on the phone and we visited her when my eldest was about 8 months old, but I couldn’t ask her about my childhood – or for recipes for things she used to make for me and my brother as her memories faded. It was difficult to talk to her and she would get upset because she struggled to remember what she was talking about or she’d realise that she wasn’t making sense... this was some years ago... the past couple of years she has barely recognised her mum (my gran) who visited her in her residential home. She hadn’t been able to talk for a while. It is such an awful thing to lose your memory or your ability to care for yourself. I am determined to do whatever I can to stop that from happening to me.
I also need to start refocusing on my life goals... I am 40! I need to get my act together and plan how to get there! I must start writing on my days off. On Friday (my day off this week) I will devise a schedule for writing. I really need to get my book underway! If I give myself assignments and deadlines, hopefully that will give me the push in the right direction.
Anyway, I’d better get going and get on with a few bits and bobs before it’s time to go home. Have a wonderful week, my fellow Sparkers! This blog has been pretty unorganized – which is kind of where my mind is at the moment... so I apologise. Hopefully I will get my mind straight soon.