Out of the Wilderness

Saturday, June 09, 2012

I feel like I've been lost in the wilderness for the past year. I wandered into the deep dark woods on the day my brother died and couldn't find my way out. I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity and covered my pain with food. I foolishly regained every ounce I had lost and them some more on top of it. And why? Because my brother died? Because I was in emotional pain? Because I was just plain lazy?

Because, because, because. Because is the birthplace of excuses. It allows us to rationalize why we are the way we are and therefore it can't be our fault. Well guess what - the pain of losing my brother didn't make me gain weight - my own negative self-talk following his death got me back into the negative mode that I have used as a life-pattern for decades.

No more "Because" - there is only moving forward - taking responsibility for myself and my life. I want health and a long life. I want time to see my son married and a father. I want to get to our 50th, 60th, maybe 70th wedding anniversary. These are things that I truly want for me and things that I will have to work for.

"Because" is being removed from the lexicon of my life. I'm overweight and unhealtlhy. I can change that! I have the ability to make the necessary changes in my life that will move me down the path that I desire and deserve. No one can take it away from me - if I fail it will be "BECAUSE" I gave it away.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Patti, I recognize that "because". My path is a little different than yours. Because I promised my son, Erik for his 37th birthday, that I would lose weight and start on a healthier path I stuck with SP. Then because he had a motorcycle I clung to that promise and I lost over thirty pounds, then because he came home and I work and come home and take care of him I put 20 pounds back on. Now that I've retired, I'm trying but not hard enough "because" I have Erik and two of my grandchildren to take care of....I see a pattern here. Thanks for pointing it out and thanks for befriending me.
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    3291 days ago
    I think my because is just that I'm plain lazy. I wonder if I have the will to really change. Well maybe not a transformation isn't realistic. I'll go for modification and improvement. Together and with the help of our Sparkfriends We can do what is necessary.
    3291 days ago
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