Saturday, October 20, 2012
in my opinion, the hardest part of losing weight when you have a lot of weight to lose is maintaining motivation for the duration of the process. it's a lot easier to feel confident and know that your hard work is paying off when you are getting compliments from loved ones and strangers alike (not going to lie, one of my favourite parts of losing weight! what can i say, i have poor self-esteem so i love compliments). but when you have almost 100 lb to lose, it can seem like forever before you can see a difference when you look in the mirror, and before anybody else can see the benefits of your hard work.
so i have been having a little bit of a pity party, because i have never been so consistent, never exercised so much and eaten so well for such a long period of time, and yet i am still fat. no sugar coating needed - i am still not even near the 'overweight' part of the BMI range, still can barely fit into size XL clothes, and still can't stand the sight of myself naked.
so yes, i was getting frustrated, and starting to head down the road that always leads to me saying "what's the point!", and eating terribly for a few days, weeks, or even months until i realize that i'm more miserable with myself than ever and try to climb back up on the wagon again... but then i got on the treadmill this afternoon, after almost talking myself out of it because i was feeling so dejected about my current weight. and even though i started out at a moderate pace for me (5.2 mph), i was quickly able to increase my speed, and ended up finishing 5K in 33'28... by no means is this breaking any world records, and there are many many runners out there who would think that time laughable, but for me it is a big deal. without even trying to bust it out, with a slow start, with my kids interrupting me more than a few times to ask questions, and with only one of my headphones working (and i NEED music to jog), i managed to beat my personal best time for a 5K by OVER A MINUTE!!!
so this is what i need to focus on, instead of my weight still being so far from where i want it to be... to focus on the fact that 8 weeks ago when i started back up on sparkpeople i could only jog for 2 minutes at a time at 4.5 mph. that a 'sprint' finish meant upping my speed to 5 mph for the last 30 seconds.
so i am not yet anywhere near my goal weight, or my goal fitness level.
but there has definitely been progress, that was hard-earned and shouldn't be overlooked!