Friday, December 21, 2012
I notice that when I go home for the holidays/travel, it makes me anxious. That anxiety causes me to over eat. I just eat, and eat because I'm scared. I am taking my two boys to see my mother. My sister is well, let's just say less than accomodating. She has a huge home. She can't be bothered with my oldest son staying with her (he's 16). Of course she blames it on something else like not having a bed for him. She has couches. There are inflatable mattresses. It just makes me so angry. She can never be bothered. And it doesn't matter to her if she hasn't seen him in 5 years.
So five people will stay in my mother's small house. While my sister who lives about 4 miles from her will be in a 3000 square foot home with just she and her husband. I'll also have to deal with my less than perfect kids being with a sometimes judgmental grandmother 24/7 for five days. My oldest is bipolar. My youngest is 7 and well, he's all boy and 7.
I could get a hotel room, but that's expensive. I've already paid close to 1000 dollars for airline tickets. I made plans to go visit for the holidays, because I was trying to get away from memories of my soulmate who passed on March 30. I thought it would be good for me to be around family. But what the hell was I thinking? Selfish sister, and a mother that can irk the most patient of people.
I'm going to grin and bear it, and pray that those 5 days will go by super duper fast.