Without Fail

Friday, December 21, 2012

I notice that when I go home for the holidays/travel, it makes me anxious. That anxiety causes me to over eat. I just eat, and eat because I'm scared. I am taking my two boys to see my mother. My sister is well, let's just say less than accomodating. She has a huge home. She can't be bothered with my oldest son staying with her (he's 16). Of course she blames it on something else like not having a bed for him. She has couches. There are inflatable mattresses. It just makes me so angry. She can never be bothered. And it doesn't matter to her if she hasn't seen him in 5 years.

So five people will stay in my mother's small house. While my sister who lives about 4 miles from her will be in a 3000 square foot home with just she and her husband. I'll also have to deal with my less than perfect kids being with a sometimes judgmental grandmother 24/7 for five days. My oldest is bipolar. My youngest is 7 and well, he's all boy and 7.

I could get a hotel room, but that's expensive. I've already paid close to 1000 dollars for airline tickets. I made plans to go visit for the holidays, because I was trying to get away from memories of my soulmate who passed on March 30. I thought it would be good for me to be around family. But what the hell was I thinking? Selfish sister, and a mother that can irk the most patient of people.

I'm going to grin and bear it, and pray that those 5 days will go by super duper fast.
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  • DAS92687
    emoticon And Merry Christmas!!

    My MIL is quite critical, too, and visiting there is sometimes less than happy for my husband. But over the years, and with the practice, we finally realized we can't control her and her actions and comments. We can only control how we react to them.

    Sometimes just noticing that ... with thoughts like "There she goes again" and giving an extra hug to your boys just then might help.

    Hoping you have a beautiful holiday that surprises you !! emoticon
    3145 days ago
    Good luck with your trip! Put good thoughts into the universe and maybe it will turn out alright emoticon
    3145 days ago
    Best of luck. Do you have any friends there who might be able to accommodate? I used to plan activities out with my boys (movies, fun center, mini golf, the aquatic center, the science museum, etc.). That gave me time to be out of the critical eye. And one time, I simply departed early and got a hotel for a couple of days in another city. Do what you have to do. Good luck.
    3145 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13390129
    when holidays arise we who are in a lifestyle change as in losing weight we freak out--- thinking we will overeat but to surprise ourselves by doing well------good luck
    3145 days ago
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