what a difference a week can make

Monday, May 06, 2013

it is sometimes almost impossible to remember how we felt only a few short days before, and for me this entire past week has seemed like an eternity rather than just the 7 days that actually passed.
last sunday i was feeling euphoric, accomplished, motivated, proud, energized, confident, successful, and athletic. all tremendously positive emotions. i had just completed the 10k race that i had spent months training for, finishing in a personal best time, feeling like i ran a great race and enjoyed every moment of it... and then the birthday day celebrating began. for the next 7 days i ate whatever i wanted, and didn't run once. at first i was too sore (my quads were very tight after the race), and then i told myself it was ok to take a week off to rest before starting to train for my next 10K in 6 weeks. and since i wasn't exercising, and it was my birthday, i gave myself the green light to eat whatever my heart desired.
here i am, i week later, 7 short days later, and i am like a different person... i am feeling fat, lazy, depressed, ashamed, unfit, and so very disappointed in myself and my horrid decision making. oh, and a whopping 12 lbs heavier!!!
so here i am at a crossroad - a place i have been many times before. i have lost over 120 lbs only to gain 90 of them back not once, but twice! clearly i have come to these forks in the road and turned the wrong way. but not this time!!
am i disappointed? OF COURSE
am i frustrated with myself? OF COURSE
am i going to have to work my butt off to get back what i lost/gained? OF COURSE
will i let that get me down? OF COURSE NOT
i am going to put the scale away (hidden!), get back to my detailed training schedule, and remember how i felt a week ago... but i'm also going to think about all of the negative emotions i'm feeling about myself today, and hopefully end this self-destructive cycle that has only ever brought me sadness and pain.
here's to hoping i can undo this past week, and look back at is as the time i chose the RIGHT path in the fork in the road!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    A clean slate tomorrow. Write on it whatever you want and you know what makes you feel good.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2906 days ago
    HI! For me the best part of this blog is:
    "will i let that get me down? OF COURSE NOT"
    You go! I know emoticon because of that statement. Recognizing we messed up, planning and taking steps to overcome it, and continuing to believe in ourselves is the KEY to this journey we are on. emoticon
    2906 days ago
    I had a bad week, too. I'm trying not to pick at myself too hard, but get right back up. I'm trying to remind myself that if I get back on track now, it won't be as bad as if I wait for another day (or another day after that). If you want something done, you have to do it yourself. You can do it! I think I gained 3 pounds after the last week~it'll be easier to get rid of those 3 pounds than the 10 I might have put on if I didn't hit the reset button today. :)

    Keep going! You can do it!!
    3007 days ago
  • COOP9002
    Take solace in the fact of what you were able to accomplish in the past. It is important that you don't get down on yourself. Try to discover what the triggers are that have caused you to fall back into this trap that sets you back. Even though you gained some of the weight back, you are still 30 pounds lighter than you were when this all started. Blessings to you on your journey towards wellness.
    3007 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    It was a bad week and now it is time to readjust and restart. You know you can do it and you are too awesome not to get back on the spark wagon.
    Congrats on the 10K. That is just amazing that people can run that distance.
    Don't give up on yourself, don't talk negative about yourself, just reset yourself and have a better week this week.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3007 days ago
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