Weight Loss Begins In The Heart

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

I committed myself to Weight Watcher on January 30, 2011. My starting weight was 253lbs. When I started the program, I was actually in pretty good shape. I had a trainer that pushed me and I was doing exercises that I had never been able to perform. Unfortunately, I was a little arrogant. I thought to myself that if I did the “ABC’s” of the program that I would loose the weight in no time. In retrospect, I didn’t have a true perspective of what I really looked like to my peers. I work in the Cosmetic and Beauty Industry, so I know that most people have no clue as to how they really look to their friends and family. In my perspective this reality check is the best weight loss 101 motivator and should be emphasized. The most life changing moment was sadly at fifty-one years of age I didn’t even know who I was. I believe weight loss begins in the heart.
As of two weeks ago, I weighed in at 235. Yes, it is a success, but I have been in and out of the program. I could give you my entire sob story, but I won’t. What’s the point? I have kept my online membership but my diligence has lacked. Over two years into this program I have learned a lot about myself. Firstly, I look nothing like I imagine. I definitely have a better perspective on that area. Along the way, I have learned to stop mourning what will never be. I know that ship has sailed. The beautiful part is there is a better journey waiting for me. Injuries and illness have sidetracked my journey, but I stay hopeful. I will be exercising again in a new way and soon. I have a lack of commitment to my goals for the long haul. I am that way with everything. I get tired of TV series. It doesn’t take long before I am bored. I am an all or nothing gal. I start the week well, but I know toward the end of the week, I better have those extra points handy. I get tired of work, life and the mundane, so I eat to soothe myself. For a long time I use to say if only I had this or the other my life would be better. Guess what? I t wouldn’t be better because my quirky mindset is still a part of the equation. There is nothing wrong with quirkiness if you don’t self-destruct. We also have to know how to deal with who you are. I think its called coping mechanisms. Sometimes I feel like Moses. I am only getting to see the promise land but not getting to enter it. In my heart of hearts, the reality is that the promise land is waiting for me. I will enter it because it’s part of that better journey I have started. This time I will be on that ship when it sails.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    KATESQUEST, Thank you for your kind words. To answer your question, I think that I thought I looked ok. I knew that I was overweight but I thought that certain clothes made me look not so fat. WRONG! I was looking fat no matter what! If you need to lose more than 100lbs then nothing is going to make you look long and sleek. LOL! I notice that the new trend is morbidly obese women wearing very tight fitting sleeveless clothing. The thought process is if the garment is more "form fitting" then you don't look as big. What about all the bulges and rolls? UGH! I say buy a little bigger size and have alter the garment or if it's in the budget then get a specialty seamstress. I think it is better to have a few high quality garments than a bunch of spandex piled in the closet. The bottom line we have to look the best we can at whatever weight. Thinking that we look pretty good can hinder or slow down the weight loss. That is what happen to me and I am sure it has happen to others. emoticon
    2904 days ago
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    Patria, Thank you for this very honest blog post. I am curious about what you mean by "I look nothing like I imagine." That resonated with me and I'd love to hear more! I love the comments made by JesusLightsMeUp here! It reminded me that it doesn't really matter how others see us, it matters how God sees us, and He sees you as a beautiful, wondrous creature that He made in His own image! I will keep you in my prayers and I hope you will stay around and post more :)
    2920 days ago
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    Just celebrate your victories small and large with each new day knowing Jesus cares for everything that makes you you in Him and Him in you.

    I have found out so much about who I am in Him and Him in me since I have been on this journey of Him transforming my hearts desires of my relationship with food to line up with His heart's desires for my relationship with food.

    It is so easy right now because of His grace, truth and love and knowing that He always leads and guides me into all truth concerning me in Him and Him in me.

    I cannot do one thing on my own without Him but I can do it ALL through Him who strengthens me because of Him I can do everything in the name of Jesus.

    I so enjoy the trip of how He is transforming me and my heart's desires with how I relate to food and exercise and He is completely giving me a brand new cherished out look on my life and I am seventy years old so, if He can do it for me I know He is doing it for you.
    2939 days ago
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    thank you for this blog. I especially liked your comparison with Moses, who got to see the promised land but never entered. I don't want to be like that, I want to be like Caleb, who at 80 years old said: I'm still as strong as I was when I was 40!! Keep going girl, emoticon !
    2940 days ago
    Thank you, ALLFORHIM8, You are so right. I am so glad to be back here as well. WW has a online community, but it's not as great as this one. Keep fighting the good fight of faith!
    2940 days ago
    I sure have missed you, but I know what you mean. I have lost and gained, etc. Injuries have held me back slowed me down. I can't be what I was or look like I was in my 20's and 30's. I have to reset my thinking. Just don't give up!
    2940 days ago
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