Can't Stop Torturing myself about my Weight
Monday, August 05, 2013
I am still incredibly obsessed with my fat stomach and the fact that I am still obese. I am not able to get my dictator/restrictor in gear and "diet down."
I know that I need to proceed with loving kindness, but I also feel that I just want my stomach to be smaller and to have all the pants fit. I came across two pictures today which were taken before my weight loss which started 4.5 years ago. I clearly am so physically different, but emotionally so much the same.
That's me on the right taking up half of the love seat and the three others the rest;-)
There I am on the left in DUMBO Brooklyn.
And here I am two years into my weight loss...at the same weight I am at now.
I overall eat healthier, move more and no longer have the high blood pressure I had when I was at 285lbs. I am doing emotional work, but yet my mind is constantly focused on my stomach and that I want to lose more weight. I know that it is most likely not about the weight, but I wanted to do this blog to see that I am physically and energetically in a much better place.
I just want to find peace. And I am not going to stop;-)