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Back to Square One All Over Again Cause I Refuse To Quit

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

I has been a year since I blog for the last time. Life got very hectic, and finally I got a job, as a teacher and I got very involved in it..., maybe to be able to not look at the mess my life was.

Yesterday, my mom has her usually, annually Epiphany party for the kids, as part of the Christmas Holidays in my country. Nothing has changed. She calls me names for being overweight. She told me that I look as a big truck tire in front of everybody, although I have not gain a pound in the last year, nor loose one either. a It hurts me a lot, still hurts a lot and I do not understand what I am looking for.

My sister in law brought presents for all my brothers and sister, but not for me. My sister brought me 2 used things as her presents and I keep asking me what is wrong with me that people keeps mistreating me?

After that I did not overeat, but I could not eat dinner either. Some how I felt full. That scares me cause I am concern that the anorexic feelings are coming back and although I will be able to loose a lot of this extra weight, that is not healthy either.

This morning I connected with my support Spark team and I am trying to go back to square one and start all over again, once and for all. Can you, Sparkling friends, help me and support me through these hard and painful times?

I am very sorry to be dumping all this crab on you, but I really need to ease all the pain and I really need the support, so thank you for stopping by, reading my blog and posting back, fro me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2565 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8158758
    emoticon You have come back to the right place for support. I sure can relate to comments and treatment from family like that. Hang in there...stay focused! Keep moving & making healthy choices! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2723 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    2760 days ago
  • ANGEL1066
    We are all vulnerable to family. A lot of the time, the crap they hand out is stuff they learned on the receiving end, back when they were kids. This pattern of behavior may go back s long way. I am so glad you have decided to stop this vicious cycle. You are doing so well! Being able to maintain is a real victory. Going back to basics is a great idea. Keep blogging, it really helps to get the hurt out, where it cannot fester inside you.
    Of course we will support you. God bless your every effort!
    2761 days ago
    i'm sorry your family was so hurtful. i hope this year brings you new friends who love you freely and fully. hang in there.
    2761 days ago
    If you lose weight and are skinny, she probably will complain and make comments about you wasting away. It probably will never improve. So, you may have to distance yourself from the negativity as much as you can. emoticon
    2762 days ago
  • KIM22211
    That saying you always hurt the ones you love. I disagree with the way she talked to you. so hurtful I am sure. Somehow sometimes people feel they care about someone and want to see change and hope to make that change happen by berating. We know that doesn't work. You are doing the exact perfect thing. Restart!! good on you!!!!
    2762 days ago
    I will def keep you in prayer hon. Look to the Lord and ask for His help. He's waiting for you to ask. You are so worth all the goodness He has to give. Let Him in and have faith.

    HUGS, Hopes and Faith !!!
    2762 days ago
    I'm so glad you blogged! That is step one to getting support. You handled things great - I'm not sure I could have done as well as you!
    2762 days ago
  • CYALE76
    Family can be so cruel sometimes. There is nothing wrong with you it is them that need to learn to treat you better, you are a wonderful person and deserve love and support in return. It is hard for others who are not going through the same journey as us to understand it sometimes. Remember your spark friends are always here to support you in whatever way you need. emoticon
    2762 days ago
    Hang in there. Remember you are worth it! Family can be hard on family. Forgive them and move on.
    2762 days ago
  • KERRYG155
    Oh, man, I am so sorry you have to deal with that from your family. Family is supposed to be there to support you not put you down. They need some serious counseling. I'm thinking I would avoid them like a plague. That would be easier if you lived a long way away. I am the only overweight person in my family other than mom and though she always talked about my losing weight no one ever put me down like that. I know you will find a lot of people here who will support you and never ever put you down or call you names. emoticon
    2762 days ago
    I can't imagine a mother or family member being so mean. This is a safe place for you to come. You know that we will all support you as best we can. Don't give up. Do this for you.

    2762 days ago
    I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I understand, I am too. In a different way but none is easy.

    We are here to support you. You can do this. This is for you, not them!

    emoticon emoticon
    2762 days ago
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