Being selfish this time
Sunday, April 06, 2014
i swore was not going to write another blog on how i am back AGAIN and then disappear AGAIN. so i have been lurking.....peeking in here and there on less sights then in past but on things i felt i needed to work on first. I kept quiet here for most part because i did not want to be another...im back...or not. So this time i have been back for about 6 weeks....working on me and me alone this time. I have peeked in few other places, left a few notes. I apologize if i am not fast to respond to people who have commented to me...i really am not trying to be rude or anti social. I just was trying to be selfish i guess could say...just this once. Until i can say i have set up a routine of returning here, of doing what i need to do and being where i need to be...in my head, in my heart..in my day to day habits.
I think i am getting better at that but i know a large part is because my husband is behind me, pushing me in the gentlest way. I have joined a gym...done that before. More then once. This time i joined Planet Fitness...i paid for the higher membership to be able to invite a guest anytime, hoping would get girlfriend to attend with me at times, husband or son other times. My daughter already had her own membership...i had been going as her guest for a few weeks before i took the leap and joined.
When i started i was doing a 20 minute mile on the elliptical When done i was feeling it, but it was a good feeling. It has been 2 months since i started going...usually 5 days a week. Am not doing a 16 minute mile. Or at times if my legs are tired, or i feel to worn...i will stop at .75 miles...hit the hydro massage bed and then go back and do another .50 mile. I feel so good when i am done. Like i have accomplished something...like i have done something FOR MYSELF. Maybe not a lot....i am not ready to run a marathon or even to do a 5k walk or run. but i am doing better. Today i went in after missing the last 3 days...and i admit i expected to be dragging when i started. But i surprised myself. I did the mile non stop in just 16 minutes...and then took the massage bed...and since had to wait for hubby anyway i went back and did another .8 miles on the elliptical in 10 minutes. I felt GREAT when i finished. i looked like i had fallen asleep in the 100 degree son for about an hour my face was so read but i felt wonderful. lol
What got me back here was my last trip to the Dr. I am diabetic...have been for over 5 years and have been ignoring it for over 5 years. Finally when tot the dr this past Jan for blood work up and yea...it caught up with me. I felt like crap...though of course did not realize it, and never made the connection between the two. Thought i was just lazy lol. My A1C was over 10....was told my average was close to 300. Once again he was talking insulin, but this time was serious. Instead put me on another med...that made 3. My second one He did cut in half but still....all i could think of was my mom and her taking 9 pills every morning..another 4 in afternoon and 2 at night . i do not want to be that route especially this young. so i take it but i decided it is time to change. I have been watching more closely ....keeping carbs and calories where they had told me when first diagnosed what they should be. Have i lost weight? not really. i go up and down same 2 or 3 pounds for the most part after the initial 10 pounds. But that is ok..i have not gained. And right now weight is not my key focus.
Getting my sugar down where it needs to be..that is number one with me right now. It has to be. the weight will happen, i know that. Once i get sugar down and staying there, once i start feeling better and moving more...the weight will come down. And it will happen. It has been happening. Over night....no though close to it the first few weeks. my numbers dropped daily for the first 2 weeks i changed the meds and started watching more closely what i was eating. And i am learning....slowly this time but learning. I am paying more attention to the carbs now not just the calories.; In the beginning it was more the over all picture. Now am slowly picking and choosing what i learn, what i want to know and what i want to start incorporating into my program. I am going to start trying to look at lower carbs...but i will not stop looking at fat and protein as well...they just will not be the major focus and see how that works. I know from reading others posts that it has worked for them...and that's great. I hope will have the same results and eventually get off my meds. That is my goal but am not going to be upset this time or convince myself that it has to be in a month or two or i give up.
My sugars have gone from a 300 + average to 108 or less. I can't be upset with that. My Dr is certainly thrilled. He has taken down the name of this sight, and is going to look into it more. Has said if is all i say it is (and we know it is :) ) then will start recommending to other patients. Am thrilled with that. i know they will benefit from it same as i have.
Thank you to those who have noticed i am back and commented here or in private. They have not gone unnoticed. I hope i got back to all ...if not please forgive me. Will start spreading my wings a bit more now and peek in more places, leave comments and post more. I am going to cut back i think on some of the groups i am signed into from when first got here...though not sure there yet either. Will see how they fit in for what i have to do.
I feel good ...better then i have in years. And it is not tied into the number on a scale for a change. *lol* This time it is a number on my meter. But that's ok. That is a number i can control and can feel good about. And as that number goes down..i know the number on the scale will go down too.
One thing i have found as well is that even though my scale does not show lower numbers....i have noticed that the body fat number on the scale (mine will read both) has gone down. I don't know if that is accurate but it helps to see. And i am being told by others that i look like i have lost. So maybe the numbers don't show but my body seems to be. I know should get a measuring tape and keep track, one day i might do so. But for now...i will let others comments be my scale. And i will let the fact that i wake up every day feeling good....feeling happy...and who would have thought...looking forward to going to the gym. Next step is let myself step away from the elliptical and have the trainer show me how to work the machines in the back corner. It is a lot like curves...they have a section of machines that are 30 minute full body work out. I am sure i could figure them out but trainer is free so will look at his schedule and see when next group is to demonstrate and sign up. Maybe in the next couple weeks . Will let you know how it goes. :)