Getting back on track after maintaining for over 11 years
Friday, January 04, 2019
2018 had allot of new challenges for me. 2017 I had to cut back on my running because of bone spurs on the ball of my right hip. It was hard but I made the adjustment and was doing good. 2018 I had allot of challenges in my life at work, home and with my workouts. Work I had many changes that left me wondering if I was going to have a job based on changes and restructuring. Still stressing me but I have a better handle of where I am and that I still have a job. At home not going into details but I am making some major changes and finding myself. Workouts I have had issues with my right wrist for 3 months now and even had surgery so my weightlifting and running again took a hit. Not weightlifting since it was a fill in for my running miles being cut hurt. Had surgery on my wrist and am now just going to get to lift again.
So I am rebuilding on many fronts and it has me stressed and challenging my motivation. Good thing is I have done this before and I really miss my workouts and all. So just yesterday I started tracking my nutrition and exercise to help motivate myself and give me some numbers to help me gauge where I am at. Life is change and some of the change got away from me or just happened and now I need to focus on getting back to what I can then rethink what I cannot.
I also know that I am good at the physical side of things and that will help my mental side of things. I love working out and challenging myself but with the horrible pain in my wrist it has had me not wanting to do things. Now after surgery I have pain still but I am not hurting it and everyday it feels better. I know if I slowly work back into lifting it will be fine and do as I always have and listen to my body. I also use my elliptical allot now since I could rest my wrist on it and not swing that arm and hurt myself. I still have to be a bit careful with that and it is winter so I am sticking to the elliptical and will run again outside once the weather warms up and I have given my wrist the time it needs. It is a huge mental drain on me not to run since it was my thing for 10 years but I know I will get back to it. Swimming I also miss but now that my incision is pretty well healed up I think I can get back to that as well.
My goal is to get back to my normal workout which is lifting, running/elliptical and finish with swimming. Also mixing core workouts in 3 times a week and maybe get back into spinning.
Mentally I am seeing a therapist and have been since mid 2018 which is something I should have done starting back in 2009 but oh well better late than never. So I know it will take me a long time to get to a place I am ready to handle things on my own again or even make huge life decisions and that is ok. Just understanding that I am not in the place to make that decision and just chill out and let myself adapt and adjust to what I currently am getting over and dealing with. Working on getting my home, job and life in better order so I can have the time and the vision to see what I want to do with my life. We often try to hurry through things and make decisions that we are not in a place or mindset to make. So I am making little decisions and changes until I get to a point where I can see what my true options are and what I want to do with them.
I learned when I first took this journey of getting physically healthy that I did it to fast and made decisions without truly understanding what my options were and what I was doing to myself and everyone around me. I then spent a better part of 2 years recovering from it all but now am seeing the mental side of things got the better of me and sent me down some paths I did not know about and maybe should not have taken or handled the way I did.
Oh well to wrap it up I am rebuilding myself again this year and next and am happy about that even though it will be challenging and I will make many mistakes. Just have to do my best, take my time and understand I will not always get the results I want/expect and that is ok.