Hello my beautiful sparkling friends!
I think about so many of you daily. I think...I'm going to write a blog...I'm going to check in on my wonderful friends...I'm going to sprinkle some love around spark world!
Then...guess what..the day has whisked by and I don't do it.
BAD...very, very BAD! We all need to take the time to do things that make our heart sing!
SO...here I am..if only for a short blog (which NEVER turns out to be short) to tell you all that I love you deeply and miss you! I'm here to tell you all that you hold immense value to me and that I'm ALWAYS cheering you on even if you don't see it in writing.
I have been busy as always. The consignment gallery is still operating on reduced hours because of Covid. I absolutely COULD be open longer hours at this point. I've received both of my vaccines and most likely, my customers have too.
BUT...I have a new distraction and it is called LOVE!
Sounds SO corny at this stage in my life but it's true. Entirely true and I'm all about the unvarnished truth so I'll just lay it out there!
I am still doing GREAT on my weight loss. I'm down 60 solid pounds since last August. Down 61 on certain days. I am still pretty faithful to my interminent eating plan. I eat one time a day within a one hour window. It doesn't matter if its breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I move that one hour around to suit my social schedule.
If I want to do breakfast with girlfriends that's my meal. Lunch, or dinner, same thing.
I keep my carbs low, ideally around 20 carbs which is pretty extreme...but...as you can see...highly effective. Then I fast the other 23 hours of the day.
Many of my friends are amazed I've been able to hold to this new eating lifestyle for so long.
BUT...here's the deal my lovely friends...if you eliminate all of the CRAP food out of your life you ABSOLUTELY do not have the insane cravings for more CRAP that the big foodies infuse in your so called food. It's NOT food...it's a plethora of chemical CRAP and loaded with sugar that keeps you shoving MORE CRAP into your gullet.
WHY is this? Well easy to know...it's because your poor body is getting NO nourishment so it keeps your appetite in a nutritional strait jacket seeking more of SOMETHING to give it fuel to keep you healthy.
Let's face it. You do have to make an EFFORT to find REAL food. You do have to make the investment of time to cook and serve it. It does take some forethought but the health benefits you will acheive is WELL worth it. Trust me it just IS.
If my head thinks I need something in beween long fasts...say breakfast the day before..knowing I'm not eating until dinner with friends the day after I will have a snack of a protein to hold me over. It's not that my BODY is needing this snack...it's that my head thinks I need something so I acknowlege and indulge that longing.
I also am in a much happier frame of mind since I have lost so much weight and have met an amazing man that treats me like a Princess. I prayed and prayed I'd meet a wonderful man after losing my amazing hubby of 42 years...the whole time thinking at my age the good ones were all married...or let's face it DEAD!
I have written in my last blog about the amazing Michael a widower of a very long term marriage who lost his wife if many years to Parkinsons and Dementia.
He was a very long term caregiver and I admire him for being such a wonderful husband and all in all descent man.
He has two grown daughters who I have met who have given me a cool, but polite reception.
It's hard on them. Their mother has only been gone now for about 9 months. It's hard to accept that their father wants another love in his life. They think it's 'too soon'. I agree 9 months might seem too soon in polite civility...but guess what...I'm 69 and their father is 72 almost 73 in July.
At this age...in my mind...every month is like a year.
WHO has the time to play out society's norms? I don't that's for sure.
Sooooo if their father has been able to recognize that he wants to move forward in his life after spending so, so many years of grieving with the long term care of his wife let him have the respect he needs and be supportive. Care taking is grueling...it is a big form of grieving.
To me, it's even harder than a death because you KNOW you are losing this person. You KNOW there is nothing you can do to stop the decline...so you mourn...you carry on..but you mourn.
My wonderful hubby has been gone for 19 months now so I guess I fall within the accepted mode of civility in moving on.
For Michael, it's harder but his grief and the process of mourning is actually much longer than mine. His wife was really really sick for many years.
I am giving his daughters the space they need to come to terms with the fact that their father has found someone who makes him exceptionally happy. I was a daddy's girl myself and I keep thinking of how I would feel under the same circumstances.
I would NOT be happy with another woman in my father's life. Michael is Italian and family is EVERYTHING. He is an amazing father and grandfather. He talks to his girls almost daily.
His younger daughter age 42, is in MN where he has a home he purchased and is renovating. He stays there about 4 months every summer. She is the most resistant to him moving forward.
His older daughter age 44 is in N. Carolina and isn't really happy about the new situation...but I think logically she is more accepting of the fact that her dad deserves happiness.
Both girls are smart as whips! Both amazingly successful with wonderful husbands (who were absolutely lovely to me when I met them over Easter while they stayed in FL). Both daughters have law degrees like their dad. Both went to pedigreed collages like their Harvard grad dad.
But..intellignece doesn't trump emotions. Especially in the female sector. So the girls will need to work through this new situation and I will need to understand their resistance and be patient and loving and understanding.
This is HARD for me. I am NOT a patient person...but it's good for my development and their dad tells them he is respectful of their feelings but he deserves to be happy and after a certain amount of time they will need to learn to come to terms with the fact that he IS very happy and they will need to be supportive of that fact.
Michael is a strong man. He will stick to his decisions and be supportive of me.
My wonderful Donnie could NOT do that to make his mother and sister understand that he was happy with his choice in me and our long term marriage. Because he would NOT stand up to them and their constant and consistent undermining attempts at our marriage it was a very painful existence for me. In all truthfulness it put a wedge between Don and I because he ALWAYS took his mother's side on every single thing. I just could NOT understand that situation and from time to time felt like his mother was 'the other woman'.
I do not intend to ever be in that situation again. I am cautiously watching how Michael handles this situation with his daughters. I think it will be an entirely different and much BETTER situation this time around.
Family is complicated. He is lucky that I have no family. I have absolutely no baggage moving into our new relationship. Well...other than my fiercely protective and supportive 'girl squad'..ha ha.
He has his hands full with them but so far they all really think he's the cat's meow...and they are RIGHT...he IS!
Here we are at a beautiful restaurant we visited when we did a trip to the East Coast of FL in Ft. Lauderdale for Michael to pick up two pictures he had commissioned from one of his favorite artisits. It was a perfect weekend as I have found so many are now that this brilliant man is part of my new life...yes...I'm very, very blessed dear sparklers...VERY blessed and VERY grateful!