ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

A widow requested an epitaph for her husband’s tombstone.
Monday, June 21, 2021      6 comments

A recently widowed woman requested the epitaph ‘Rest in Peace’ for her husband’s tombstone. When she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving. This was impossible, th... Read more
A bunch of lawyers were playing poker.
Sunday, June 20, 2021      22 comments

A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker. “I win!” said Johnson. Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating!” “How can you tell?” Phillips asked. “Because, those aren’t... Read more
A man notices a dog playing poker.
Saturday, June 19, 2021      25 comments

A man walks into a bar and notices a poker game at the far table. Upon taking a closer look he sees a dog sitting at the table. This peaks his curiosity and he walks closer and sees cards and chips in front of the dog. Then the next hand is... Read more
A man complains to his new therapist.
Thursday, June 17, 2021      23 comments

A man goes to a therapist and says: “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s Bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?” “Relax,... Read more
A man ordered some french fries.
Wednesday, June 16, 2021      21 comments

A man stopped at a fast food restaurant. He was fascinated by a sign which offered ‘Fat-Free French Fries’ and so he decided to give them a try. After ordering, he watched with disgust as the worker pulled a basket of fries from the fryer, ... Read more
A sex therapist conducts an experiment.
Monday, June 14, 2021      21 comments

A noted sex therapist realises that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devises a test to tell for certain how often someone has sex. To prove his theory, he fills up an auditorium with people and goes down the l... Read more
I will have the house special.
Sunday, June 13, 2021      24 comments

There is this guy who saves his money, travels to Spain and goes to Pamplona during the wonderful Running of the Bulls Festival. After his first day there, he goes out late in the evening for dinner, like the locals do, and chooses a nice-l... Read more
Jack was explaining how his brother got sick.
Thursday, June 10, 2021      24 comments

Jack: “My brother was sick and went to the doctor.” John: “Is he feeling better now?” Jack: “No, he has a broken arm.” John: “How did he break it?” Jack: “Well, the doctor gave him a prescription and told him no matter what h... Read more
Mary had to finish her homework assignment.
Monday, June 07, 2021      21 comments

Mary’s fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her spelling list, along with the definition. Coming across the word “frugal” in the list, she asked her father what it meant. He explained that being fr... Read more
A husband and wife were enjoying breakfast together.
Friday, June 04, 2021      28 comments

A husband and wife were sitting at the dining room table. The wife was trying to tell a story over breakfast but couldn’t remember a key detail. Eventually she gave up and went back to drinking her coffee. “Oh God,” she sighed. “I’m c... Read more
A man showed off his new apartment.
Thursday, June 03, 2021      26 comments

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a friend late one night, a young man led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong. “What’s that big brass gong for?” asked the friend. “It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” th... Read more
A man was asked to make a sale in an interview.
Monday, May 31, 2021      30 comments

A man was in a job interview when the manager handed him his laptop and said: “I want you to try and sell this to me.” So the man put it under his arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually the manager called the man’s ... Read more
A recent university graduate was being interviewed for a job.
Saturday, May 29, 2021      32 comments

A recruiter asks a recent university graduate: “What starting salary are you looking for?” “In the range of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package,” the applicant replies. The recruiter says: “Well, what would you say to a ... Read more
Len from Canada had heard stories of a family tradition.
Friday, May 28, 2021      25 comments

All of his life Len from Canada had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that day, they’d walk across the la... Read more
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch.
Saturday, May 22, 2021      28 comments

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled: “Pull, Nellie, pull.” Buddy didn’t move. The... Read more

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