25,000-29,999 SparkPoints 28,288


W21 - Summary
Sunday, February 24, 2019      4 comments

It's been a couple weeks since I've been here. My ED has been very active and things have been generally pretty miserable. This past week has been one of awareness. I'm grateful for some relief after a very challenging set of weeks have have ... Read more
W18 - Summary
Sunday, February 03, 2019      4 comments

Irritated and disappointed. Sadly, not surprised (see last blog). That is all. W18: +2.2# (total - 17.0#) W17: -1.2# (total - 19.2#) W16: -0.6# (total -18.0#) W15: -0.4# (total -17.4#) W14: -2.0# (total -17.0#) W13: +2.0# (t... Read more
Hunger - When It Is Confusing
Wednesday, January 30, 2019      2 comments

I've been inexplicably hungry for the last almost-week. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out why. I swear, I get amnesia about these things. It took a near-meltdown vent session with a friend to stop binge eating candy this w... Read more
W17 - Summary
Sunday, January 27, 2019      2 comments

It was a surprising week weight-wise. Especially in the last two days, I've felt like I've eaten beyond my level of hunger and gotten to a point where my tummy was upset (I'm still re-learning what "enough" feels and tastes like, and my satiety... Read more
W16 - Summary
Sunday, January 20, 2019      5 comments

It's hard to believe it's been 16 weeks since I started paying attention again. I can also tell it's 16 weeks because I'm losing steam for the calorie counting and tracking - diet behavior. This week, I started an 8-week intuitive eating and b... Read more
W15 - Summary
Sunday, January 13, 2019      3 comments

Well, let's start with a re-write mix up of what I said last week: "DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. So when an event happens - like gaining/ weight - and it doesn't make sense based on everything you have been doing, don't concern yourself with it too ... Read more
W14 - Summary
Sunday, January 06, 2019      3 comments

I've been thinking of writing a blog for the last couple of days, but haven't. My appetite has been significantly higher than it has been since I started back on this journey, and it is has been very disturbing to experience. I had a triggerin... Read more
W13 - Endings and Beginnings
Sunday, December 30, 2018      1 comments

The thing about eating disorders is that they are insidious. I've had a couple of unremarkable days, that have been extremely difficult. I've been trying to figure out what has been going on, but I couldn't pinpoint one specific thing. Through t... Read more
W12 - Summary and Change
Sunday, December 23, 2018      7 comments

I am not sure where to start, because the reality is that I have a lot to acknowledge. I made it through a very emotional week... I had a couple of not-great food days, but I wrote things down as best I could and came to terms with things throu... Read more
Exactly Where We Are
Wednesday, December 19, 2018      1 comments

A rare mid-week blog to take the edge off of this brain. I had a difficult Saturday, and I was working on getting back on Sunday, which turned into Monday, and then Tuesday. Now we are at Wednesday, and I am still feeling that familiar churnin... Read more
W11 - The Roller Coaster
Sunday, December 16, 2018      3 comments

It's been a roller coaster week. I've been way up, I'm feeling pretty bummed at the moment, and there has been every emotion in between. I found myself in the position of needing to heavily advocate for myself to get what I deserved. I found ... Read more
W10 - Summary and A Milestone
Sunday, December 09, 2018      3 comments

10 weeks... that's something to celebrate. For the last month or so I have felt the familiar compulsion in my soul saying "it's not enough, do more". "I should join a gym, I should start running again, I should...". I've been fighting that ur... Read more
W9 - Summary
Monday, December 03, 2018      3 comments

Slow loss is really difficult for me to tolerate. I've been SUPER HUNGRY this week. I ordered in Indian yesterday, it's a weakness. I've also been super exhausted. I know that things ebb and flow, but it feels challenging. I went back t... Read more
W8 - Summary
Sunday, November 25, 2018      2 comments

Well, Thanksgiving is over. So glad. I somehow managed to love 0.4# as well... which seems simply impossible given that: 1. It was Thanksgiving 2. I ate cheesecake for breakfast (ok, two pieces of cheesecake) 3. I ordered Indian takeo... Read more
W7 - Summary
Sunday, November 18, 2018      6 comments

I am not even sure how my body pulled a loss off given how stressed I've been. I've eaten "not so great" this week, and am starting to acknowledge that while this "just track" mentality has paid off thus far, I can't continue that forever witho... Read more

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