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STEVO5O's Photo STEVO5O Posts: 3,126
7/25/09 12:11 P

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Exactly...each individual needs to do what works for them. We have to find our own trigger. I can see where some would not like what I do. That's fine...like we've all said many times before, we all don't agree on every little thing. It would be a boring world if that were so. We're all pieces of the puzzle. Some, like me, are pretty crooked. There isn't a straight line on me...literally. LOL. I have all kinds of bumps and humps...mentally, spiritually, and physically. What you see is what you get with me. The positive approach with me and my diet history has never worked so I go by my new philosophy now, which is..."If you want something you have never had you must do something you have never done." That's what I'm doing now...regarding my food intake only. stevo5o


BENTONHEALTHY's Photo BENTONHEALTHY Posts: 2,248
7/25/09 11:27 A

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I found this to be an interesting discussion. As I find it hard to understand calling yourself deprecating names a good thing I can understand your psychology. When I am not eating properly or I accept my overweight I tell myself that people just need to like me for who I am. I do think of my positives to offset the obesity. After all I am not my weight and that is true to an extent. On the other hand I am limited by my weight and the destruction on my body so it changes who I am. I also have to remind myself of how truly BAD it can be and the person I will be if I don't stick to this journey. I don;t want to belittle myself but scaring myself seems to work. That is why I loved your post Steve when you said something to the extent of I can live, die, or be disabled. So what works for me is scaring myself which doesn't seem like a positive either but it works.

I am not losing this fat - I am removing it for good.

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."

"Change your thoughts and change your world"


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STEVO5O's Photo STEVO5O Posts: 3,126
7/24/09 1:08 P

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Please try to understand. Three previous times in my life I've tried it that way. All that happened was that I regained the weight and put even more on. This time it's different. I will do whatever it takes to keep it off. If that means calling myself names, then that's what I'll do. Being nice to myself has NEVER worked...so I'll be George Costanza and do the total opposite.

Now, I didn't want to really get into that a whole lot because I don't want other people to do it. It works for me...and I don't do it all the time. Only when I feel I need to jump start myself...when I feel like I'm slipping back into the old ways. This is my new trigger. That's all. Don't worry or be appalled CHLOIANNA...I'm fine with it.

Don't think that I walk around all of my waking hours speaking negatively to myself...I don't. When I'm at the gym I'm constantly rooting for myself. You know, things like when I'm lifting heavy weights I'll say to myself..."Come on Steve, one more rep, you can do it, one more...YES!!!!" Or when I'm playing golf I'm very positive with myself.

Food has been my biggest downfall and negativity is helping me defeat that. It's slow progress at times but a lot faster that before. It's ok...I'm fine with it. Believe me, aside from the food issues, I'm the most positive person you'll ever come across. With all I have in my life...I have to be. Thanks for your concern CHLOIANNA, i greatly appreciate it. stevo5o


CHLOIANNA's Photo CHLOIANNA SparkPoints: (0)
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7/24/09 12:55 P

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Steve, I feel so sorry for you that you are filled with so much self-loathing. How can you speak to yourself in such a horrble way? I know you say it motivates you. I can't understand how you would call yourself such things. I am appalled. I wish you find a way to love yourself and someone to love you as well.

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STEVO5O's Photo STEVO5O Posts: 3,126
7/24/09 12:42 P

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I see your point there and that probably works for most everybody. I've found that with me...that way doesn't work. When I think like that, lovingly and with acceptance and the attitude that..."It's ok, I like me no matter what. I'll still like me if I eat those 4 donuts or if I eat that salad. No matter what choice I make, I still like me and my body."

See, with me...if I think that way, I'll eat the 4 donuts and not the salad. But, if I say to my self..."Look you idiot, you wanna weigh 355 pounds again? Go ahead and eat those donuts you big moron. You liked being big didn't you? Go ahead then, be good to your inner being and eat those donuts and be the big tubbo you really want to be! It's ok. You'll feel good about yourself AND have the donuts to boot, the best of both worlds porkie!"

See, personally, I need to talk to myself like that. But...that's just me. I'm not saying that will work for anybody else, but it does work for me. Just a personal choice I guess. I react totally opposite of the way people would think I would. I'm a freak I guess. The harder I am on myself, the better I perform. Especially putting that together with faith, accountability, personal responsibility, and hard work.

That said, I don't do it all the time. I'm human and I fall a lot. I just kick myself now and get back at it.

Like I said though, I wouldn't recommend that strategy to anyone else. That's just my bag. stevo5o


IMAVISION's Photo IMAVISION Posts: 22,615
7/24/09 11:33 A

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Steve - I find your way of "shooting from the hip" to be refreshing! I have learned a lot of helpful insights by reading your postings.

However, I do not agree with your ideas on "self-depreciating humor".

I believe it is essential that we speak to ourselves in the same lovingly encouraging way we would (should) speak to a youngster. So many of us are living with the results of years of being beaten down with unkind remarks &/or looks/vibes from others, we certainly don't need to do the same to ourselves.

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4 Ways We Contribute to One Another's Unhealthy Relationships with Food

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24, 2009 | POSTED BY MICHELLE

We contribute to one another’s bad relationships with food and with our bodies in subtle and profound ways. Take a look at the list below to see how we contribute to other people’s eating disorders:

3. Ragging on Ourselves

It’s so common to hear people call themselves fat or poke fun at their bodies that we have become desensitized to it. Talking negatively about our bodies greases the slope for everyone. It contributes to a spirit of competition and comparison. I live in Los Angeles where a lot of people will say they need to lose weight if they’re not the “required” ten pounds underweight. I often find myself getting angry wondering where exactly they think they should lose the weight…perhaps off their internal organs. If we can all learn to speak about our bodies with love and acceptance, then it will be so much easier to treat ourselves lovingly with good food and exercise. Stirring up all this negativity and hatred just sends us into the arms of food. Can you stop talking negatively about your body?

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Something to know about this gal "Ima" - I follow the Savior of the world!

I stand in awe of the salvation, through Christ Jesus, that Creator God has granted me. May you enjoy the same!

I am so very thankful that the door of access is permanently open to The Creator & His beloved Son, Christ Jesus!

"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." ~ Psalm 33:12 --- IN GOD WE TRUST

IMAVISION's Photo IMAVISION Posts: 22,615
7/24/09 11:06 A

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I read the following this morning & thought I would post it here, since it sheds light on the topic of this thread.

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4 Ways We Contribute to One Another's Unhealthy Relationships with Food

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24, 2009 | POSTED BY MICHELLE

2. Commenting on Other People’s Weight

Something that is often done with good intention but is nevertheless damaging is commenting on people’s weight. Even when the comment is complimentary, the results can still be destructive. I know many women who struggled with anorexia. In the throes of their eating disorders, many reported that they received so many compliments despite being unhealthily thin. Telling someone that they’ve lost or gained weight contributes to a fixation on weight and food. Share with someone how happy you are to see them or how grateful you are that they made time for you. Taking the focus away from weight helps us all in the long run. Can you stop commenting on weight changes and appearances in yourself and others?

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Something to know about this gal "Ima" - I follow the Savior of the world!

I stand in awe of the salvation, through Christ Jesus, that Creator God has granted me. May you enjoy the same!

I am so very thankful that the door of access is permanently open to The Creator & His beloved Son, Christ Jesus!

"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." ~ Psalm 33:12 --- IN GOD WE TRUST

IMAVISION's Photo IMAVISION Posts: 22,615
7/23/09 6:41 P

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That was a hard situation to read, I would give the gal the benefit of the doubt & assume she actually hadn't noticed your weight loss.

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I have noticed that some folks don't like to have attention drawn to the fact that they were once heavier, so I tread easy with the compliments about "weight loss'. However, I do compliment them on how 'lovely' or 'nice' they look. If they want to comment further about having lost weight, then I respond accordingly.

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Something to know about this gal "Ima" - I follow the Savior of the world!

I stand in awe of the salvation, through Christ Jesus, that Creator God has granted me. May you enjoy the same!

I am so very thankful that the door of access is permanently open to The Creator & His beloved Son, Christ Jesus!

"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." ~ Psalm 33:12 --- IN GOD WE TRUST

SNAPDRAGON04's Photo SNAPDRAGON04 Posts: 3,779
7/23/09 4:51 P

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She could be blind, or she's a sucky friend, or like CHLOIANNA said, maybe she didn't want you to think she thought you needed to lose weight. Either way, doesn't matter, you know how much butt you've kicked to get where you are now.

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CHLOIANNA's Photo CHLOIANNA SparkPoints: (0)
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7/23/09 11:00 A

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Maybe she is jealous. But, just maybe, she didn't want to bring it up and have you think she thought you were f** before. Just a thought.

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RTLIFESTYLE's Photo RTLIFESTYLE Posts: 7,880
7/22/09 7:56 P

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Keep your chin up.

rtlifestyle
Co-leader Emotional Eaters
Spark Motivator

Don't get discouraged. Look at today only. We can't change yesterday.

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success. SP quote


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JESJOCSILY's Photo JESJOCSILY Posts: 241
7/22/09 6:44 P

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I went and visited my sister and after losing, she didn't say anything. Finally, I went, "Do you notice that I lost weight?"

She looked at me and said, "I didn't want to say anything because I don't want you to think that you only get compliments when you are thinner. I think you look great always!"

So, mayber that's what it is?

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STEVO5O's Photo STEVO5O Posts: 3,126
7/22/09 4:30 P

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I'm a big believer in self-depricating humor. I just make a mistake sometimes by thinking everyone else can handle it too. That's why I hope I don't rub some people the wrong way. I motivate myself by attacking myself and I assume, wrongly sometimes, that it works with others. I hope you all have gotten to know me well enough to know that I mean no harm by being blunt sometimes. stevo5o


CD3239596 Posts: 10,621
7/22/09 4:25 P

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Sometimes, I have found that people don't want to say anything...in case you are sensitive about it. I know myself.....I don't always say it out loud if I am thinking that someone has lost........

CD2701801 Posts: 6,808
7/22/09 12:09 P

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sad how some dont even say anything. cause sometimes they are wanting the attention themselves.. just tell her how good she looks.. and one day she will say the same about you!

YELLOWDAHLIA's Photo YELLOWDAHLIA SparkPoints: (0)
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7/22/09 11:00 A

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The sad truth is that we notice our weight loss long before anyone else will. Keep losing- they will notice eventually.
When I look at pictures of me at 240 and me at 205 I don't really see much difference, but I felt a lot smaller at the time.

**LINDA**

Weight loss is accomplished with the mind.


A person who wants something WILL find a way....a person who doesn't will find an excuse.

Which do you prefer?
The pain of self discipline?....or...the pain of self regret?






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TROPICAL618's Photo TROPICAL618 Posts: 467
7/22/09 1:27 A

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perhaps she is insecure and afraid you are going to one-up her. take it as a sign that you just put her on notice. don't let other people's reactions or lack there of be any indication of how fabulous you already are!




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GOANNA2's Photo GOANNA2 Posts: 28,178
7/22/09 1:24 A

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You di great and don't worry about her problem. Good on you and you deserve a pat on the back. Keep up the good work. emoticon

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LAMDAGUY's Photo LAMDAGUY Posts: 2,467
7/22/09 12:52 A

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She may have, or even may not have noticed. Either way you know you lost 39#. Keep up the good work. You are doing great. Some people never comment on the achievements of others. Perhaps she is one of the or maybe she really didn't notice. I don't think it was jealousy because if someone is jealous they usually say something insulting, not be quiet. emoticon

DLJ
Business Management Undergrad
SMOKE FREE SINCE JUNE 03, 2009. YEAH!!!
January 01, 2011. A new beginning. My long and short term goals:
1) Lose weight safely and permanantly
2) Live a healthier life to the best of my ability
3) Remove the buildup in my arteries
5) Get my HDL and LDL in good ranges .
6) to be atleast 224 by December 31, 2011


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BENTONHEALTHY's Photo BENTONHEALTHY Posts: 2,248
7/21/09 11:27 P

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Thank you all. My feeling is that since I am obese and still am obese even after the weight loss that no one seems to say anything until you are thin. Another person came in and commented her pants were loose and said nothing also. All I needed was I see you lost a little weight. I actually complimented her on keeping the weight off. She didn't bring any food to eat and I offered her an apple or things I had. All she ate all the time she was there - 7 hours was a few pieces of candy. And her method is not to eat at all after 6pm - well she left my office pretty late so what she just had a breakfast and candy for food? Those are not the kind of people you can share your plan with. They are thin and just don't buy into anything but what made them that way. It was all so strange to me.

I am not losing this fat - I am removing it for good.

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."

"Change your thoughts and change your world"


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BEENIEMOM's Photo BEENIEMOM Posts: 8,045
7/21/09 10:11 P

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kuddos to you for the weight loss..never worry about what others say or dont say.........it only matters how you feel and that you are doing fantastic! Hugs and blessings Tina

Without forgiveness life is governed by...an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.

- Roberto Assagioli


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CORRINER's Photo CORRINER SparkPoints: (0)
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7/21/09 9:09 P

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my vote is that she is jealous of your great work. Some people just don't know how to give complements.

For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 3:11 (NKJV)
Team Leader: Elongated Penny Smashers.
BETRME100's Photo BETRME100 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/21/09 8:49 P

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I bet she did notice, but didn't want to compliment you for who knows what reason...some people just feel like any one else's success takes something away from them. You just keep doing what you've been doing...great job!!

Kit

Kit

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
Jackson Brown

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CD2313590 Posts: 6,599
7/21/09 7:09 P

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Yeah. What they said. emoticon on the weight loss. emoticon

DONNAEDA's Photo DONNAEDA Posts: 30,939
7/21/09 7:00 P

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She could be jealous of you because you are doing it. If she commented she wouldn't be the big cheese. Her loss.

Donna
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KIPPY_63's Photo KIPPY_63 Posts: 851
7/21/09 6:24 P

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She noticed... but not saying something nice is better than saying something mean... sometimes its just outside the scope of people to say something nice.

Nice job on the weight loss.



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SHARONMRACEK Posts: 72
7/21/09 6:16 P

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Give yourself a pat on the back. You have a lot to be thankful for.I also have lost about 40 pounds. Congradulations. The nest person you havent seen in a while will notice. emoticon

BELLACUDDLES's Photo BELLACUDDLES Posts: 41,713
7/21/09 6:09 P

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I say this person is jealous of the new you....or blind as a bat!!!!!!!!

Barbara .....that's what my friends call me! Never cared for the name Barb.

Make it a blessed and healthy day! IT IS YOUR CHOICE!

Remember how special you are and how you are soooooo worth it to be healthy and fit!!

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the assurance of things unseen. Hebrews 11:1




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DEBANNE1124's Photo DEBANNE1124 SparkPoints: (162,874)
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7/21/09 5:54 P

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She either is blind or selfish. I would have hugged you and kissed yoru cheek and oooooohhhhed and ahhhhhed and pinched your cheeks and told you "Honey, they aren't as chubby anymore!" and hugged you again and told you how nice you look.



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STEVO5O's Photo STEVO5O Posts: 3,126
7/21/09 5:45 P

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That's her problem, not yours. You know what you're doing. Are you happy with it? Keep it up...she'll notice. And if she doesn't...so what. When you look in the mirror and like what you see, that's all that matters. We're going to win this battle babe. No matter what! THEY WILL NOTICE! stevo5o


BENTONHEALTHY's Photo BENTONHEALTHY Posts: 2,248
7/21/09 5:40 P

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I saw someone today that hadn't seen me since I lost the 39 pounds. She is thin and lost weight so she looks well thin. She didn't even say anything about my losing weight -- what is up with that?

I am not losing this fat - I am removing it for good.

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."

"Change your thoughts and change your world"


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